The sound of loud splashes ring out as my foot makes uneven contact with the murky floor covered by the sweat and coagulated blood of all of the countless lives that society mulls over on a daily basis. The haunting smell of the rotting flesh of laid off workers curdles the morsel of SPAM that lie alone in my stomach. My footsteps become more and more labored as I stumble along the dark, dank, foul odored hallways further and further I find myself from the exits that have to exist. Or do they? Am I to become a victim of this ill-fitted game, called the economy? Am I, too, collateral damage?
I await for the fated day of December 6th that rapidly approaches. My wonderful place of employment has dangled a rotting piece of carrot in front of my face, and has given me the ultimatum to either give up on my health or to join them for an eternity of indentured servitude. I was medically released from the military back in 2001 after being involved in a horrible car accident that had left me with one good leg, a back that is much like a 60 year old, and bad knees. I began my employ with "The Job" in 2002 where I remain employed today. Years of unselfish work I gave to them, and now that I am unable to work due to the overwhelming pain in my back and leg, they want to turn from me. When they hired me, back on that fateful day in 2002, they knew I was a disabled vet, yet it didn't seem to matter as long as I came to work. It mattered not that tears would stream down my face as I lifted files, and stooped to place things on shelves; It mattered not that I would show up to work walking slow with a hunch in my back; nor did it matter that I began to spend most of the day with a grimace on my face.
April was when I finally decided that I couldn't go on ignoring the pain. I found myself at the doctor's office almost daily (Dealing with the VA is a full time job without pay). Finally after 3 months, my doctor stated that I needed to stay out of work for 6 months to a year. During my 3 months of medical screening they found that the rod that was placed in my leg 11 years ago was the wrong size, and caused a height discrepancy in my legs. This was what was causing most of the other medical issues. I am still going through other screenings and therapy in order to find some normalcy in my life, yet my place of employment stated that I needed to be back to work well before the 6 months that the doctor stated I needed for recovery (2 months, in fact was all they were willing to grant me). They further stated that if I do not return with a release from my doctor, I will be considered as a person who has "abandoned" her job. The irony in losing "The Job" is that it is a government job.
I have been struggling from month to month. My debt seems to swallow me like the fish did Jonah. My credit which was outstanding, is now laying in heaps of shreds all around my knees. I wake up in the middle of the night sinning with worry as I think of yet another bill that I cannot pay. I wonder how long I can keep up this charade. Everything is on the verge of being stripped from me, my car, my rental, my school, my all. December 6th and I lay writing this in agonizing pain. How can I begin to crawl back to slavery with the unhealed welts of the government's neglect in fixing me the first time, now they are piling more wounds onto the open ones that have never healed.
